| Wednesday, January 7th, 2009 |
| 12:31 am |
spiraling.
i hope everyone is enjoying their first week of 09'. i certainly am. i'm working on my annual "in's & out's of 09'" . i make one every year. i promise to post on myspace soon. i'm in love with the new keane song. it's exciting & fresh. i'm excited for everything new that 09' is going to bring. shows, best friends, and traveling. going to LA twice; Portland (just guess for what), Canada (the same as before), & Germany for Oktoberfest, i believe its spelled like, & moving from Windy Chicitaay to sunny LA this year. things are changing for the best. but like a lot of people say sometimes you have to leave all you know & love behind to experience something new & unexpected. i just wish i could pack all my family & friends into a suitcase & take them with me. but at least my best friend in the whole wide world will be there to hold my hand. I couldn't be anymore happier. my friends are happy, i'm happy, the world seems to be happy. i'm excited for everything. what are you excited for? top favorite songs this week: 1. Keane "Spiralling" 2. Pierce the Veil "Currents Convulsive" 3. Kings of Leon "Knocked up" 4. Kings of Leon ""Manhattan" 5. The Scene Aesthetic "Beauty in the Breakdown" |
| Wednesday, December 31st, 2008 |
| 12:28 am |
hey love.
i'm happy for everything right now. my ex boy is happy & is spending his new years in LA with his new ladyfriend. but i miss him. we would be sipping on some coffee & talking about how the both of us are excited for 09'. i'm not sold on this holidays thing... i have no ones neck to nipple at 12am new years, to buy an xmas gift for, to worry if that new jacket i got will fit his body snug enough. i found out that when a new boy comes into my life; i obsess. not crazy-i'mastalker way but obsess enough to get me searching the internet to see if he has done anything that i should know of or if there's 14 yr old girls after him. but i decided this year is different. i promised myself for new all the way. tomorrow i'm thinking getting my "stay young" tattoo on my foot. i want it really bad. and i'm thinking getting snakebites? i'm growing my hair long again, washing it once a week, and going red like hayley williams but a bit toned. what do you think? |
| Thursday, August 7th, 2008 |
| 7:59 pm |
CO
i hate the fact that when everything seems to go as planned something always has to go and mess it up. i wish i could change things. start on a clean slate and wish for the best. i wish that people weren't always so cynical i wish that the only person that would tell me how it is would just the stay & not break this. i wish that i could just crash into his arms & hold on tight. cry my frustrations away & look up into his deep blue eyes and get that feeling "hey baby girl, it's going to be alright." you and me baby boy have the world in the palm of our hands. you're going to be okay, we'll be just fine. you'll get your wish, i'm nothing but a normal girl with out there ideas. "I just want a normal girl, you know what I mean? I want to be able to come home from touring, collapse into her arms, have her piece me back together, you know? Someone that is more interested in what's on TV than the music industry." |
| Friday, June 13th, 2008 |
| 12:10 am |
when something you've been looking forward to for such a long time rolls around, you get excited a couple days before. but the day off that anticipating day, you get all gittery inside & you're left questioning absolutely everything that comes in your path. you're not fully convinced that this is really happening or that you're finally given such responsibility. but i guess.. we're all good at taking things when they come & go. i have one thing to say to you... 100% I-HAVE-NO-FUCKING-CLUE-WHAT-TO-DO-NEXT. |
| Tuesday, June 10th, 2008 |
| 12:14 am |
"rules of the fight club. first rule you don't talk about the fight club. second rule you don't talk about the fight club. if this is your first night, you have to fight." |
| Saturday, June 7th, 2008 |
| 12:50 am |
I don't think people really take this guy seriously. they dont know who he is. but they dont know that he's always watching. |
| Wednesday, May 28th, 2008 |
| 11:32 pm |
i really wish.
i could keep track of this but i cant. im always on the run. so i dont know about you but i'm feeling displaced. i'm not ready for this anymore than you are. but believe me, i was so anxious for this to come & now that's finally here i'm stuck. |
| Friday, October 26th, 2007 |
| 11:27 pm |
whats with that typcial face and that familiar face that im use to? if i wouldve known better, there would be more to this. |
| Saturday, October 13th, 2007 |
| 9:54 pm |
i try so hard to make this work but you dont give in. i'm sick of the one night talks and the last time i saw you. if it isnt me, then i dont want to be her. why is that its so different when im around you? i want to forgive you and trust you again but something in me holds back. maybe its because i feel like i know better. tell me this.. if i wasnt so caught on every word you said, would i still be there, wanting more. |
| Monday, October 8th, 2007 |
| 11:39 pm |
"you know you messed things up thats how you lost my trust and now you're lost and its all because you were not strong enough." wishing, listenin', on a steady course. we were such an undestructable team. you know you hurt me. |
| Thursday, October 4th, 2007 |
| 8:57 pm |
you smashed me into a million pieces and all you have to show for it is a name imprinted on your face that starts with an A and ends with J. if i said i lost to her, and i ended up with a deep hole down through me i say i wasnt lying and dying to tell just how i felt. me im just causal give me just i want to hear. i said that i wouldnt be hooked on this. give me a reason just to care. "you're no good at lying and im no good at comebacks but you're so untouchable and im oh so terrible at this, i'm terrible at this you know. dont hold this against me. i promise that im sorry." i'm predictable. |
| Saturday, September 29th, 2007 |
| 7:18 pm |
_____, you mean the world to me right now. every single minute passes and im just thinking of everything we have. i dropped you off, and you left me thinking and wanting more. i want to let you know, i'm sick of hook ups. i'm sick of saying we're just friends that act like more. let me know now because if we're just going to be friends then tell me its okay if i set myself on someone else when really i won't. you're the first since the last that caught my eye and had me. you give me the shivers. |
| Saturday, September 22nd, 2007 |
| 10:15 pm |
|
| 12:32 am |
when you go through so much trouble to get somewhere, i'm the last thing on your mind. you gave me a reason to care but i'm starting to loose interest if you want to give up on us just like that. |
| Wednesday, September 19th, 2007 |
| 11:40 pm |
i'm in deep water with all of this. i wish i knew whats put infront of me. i want to chill and watch the sun go down and to see lake michigan in the distance from lake shore drive. you run me, you know how to make me feel good about us. but you know just how to kill a moment. if you only knew what i was up to, you'd be finished with me. over and out. |
| Sunday, September 16th, 2007 |
| 9:32 pm |
fifty percent of the time, I know I'm not there. but the other half is just thinking too much. i know when we're together, its just impossible to think that we're just friends with pieces missing to the puzzle. we never let go to what we have. part of me wants to know more about us. the other part of me just doesn't want to ruin the moment. when you're sitting there and the light hits your eyes, i fall more for you. when you say "i'm with this sweet girl." its unpredictable. ///////// finally, a real entry. i guess i'm going back to my old ways because im stressing out a lot since school started. i do things last minute and i never have time to do anything. when i do have time, i'm with him.... when i'm with him; its just to real and i have too much fun with him. it feels like hes one of the best things that has happened to me in awhile. i noticed i shop to damn much but oh well. i've been finding brusies and scraps on my body and i always have headaches. i dont sleep and when i do its 5 hrs. i hate school and i cant wait to graduate already. i always get yelled at by my english teacher & other teachers for what i wear and my monroe. i'm starting to care less. idont know whats up with me anymore. |
| Thursday, September 13th, 2007 |
| 4:44 pm |
i'm ontop of it all. lepoard print flats, yellow tunic, black finger nail polish, skinny jeans and a ring to wrap around my skinny finger. i had enough with second chances but i just want to give up now. if i said i wasnt upset, its because i really was. but you know better then to ask. if i felt any different about us then i dont think i would still be here wasting my time . ive got, ive got so much on my mind right now. i know this isnt any better then it was a couple of weeks ago. ive, ive lost it all to this. |
| Sunday, September 9th, 2007 |
| 11:52 am |
I'm stuck in the middle of everything unethical in this world. Things with no reason. Drama or no drama , I always feel sick to my stomach. I panic and I think too much. I never know just what to do anymore. I hate liking someone so much that you never want to let go. There's two others wanting but I'm your best kept secret. Really babe, if you knew better you would stick with me. Lets team up. I'm sure we'll make them hate us. |
| Wednesday, September 5th, 2007 |
| 7:29 pm |
I lost it when you said its just me. I lost it when I found it that it might just be our time. But if I knew better, I wouldn't be here wishing to hear you. I don't want to be the blame anymore. Its your turn. I hate how you make everything feel so good. |
| Monday, September 3rd, 2007 |
| 11:40 pm |
i said you weren't going to keep me up for nights. i don't know what to think anymore. i wonder just how much to make of it. i want to give up now. but its just too soon to call. i have so much to tell you but they keep slipping. i keep drifting away from you. i know deep down that it's worth a shot. how am i going to know for sure if you're slipping away from me minute by minute. i think of only you everytime i hear that song play over my speakers while i'm waiting for the red light to turn green. i just assumed there would be more to this then just hi and i miss you every now and then. "empty another bottle and let me tear you to pieces this is me wishing you into the worst situtations." when i get to attached, i obsess. when i say i had enough, its that i dont ever want to see you again. with her. i've only known you for a couple weeks, but i swear i can see straight through you. |
